Charge Sheet

How to play Charge Sheet

You're the chairman. It's summer 2008 and a petrostate has just bought your club. The owner's money has no limit. The rules do: from 2010/11 you can't lose more than £105m over three seasons, and owner cash doesn't count as revenue.

So you make it count. Every summer you pick a transfer plan, then sign off the accounts. On the table: sponsorship deals with companies your owner controls, a hotel sold to yourself, a manager on a second contract abroad, image rights paid through a company somewhere sunny. Each one turns owner money into revenue. Each one leaves a paper trail and raises the heat.

Heat, leaks and the investigation

Heat drives leaks. A leak hands investigators a pile of evidence and starts a formal investigation. From then on they dig every season. You can stall, lose the emails, sue the league or hire every KC in the country. Stalling adds co-operation charges. Lawyers cost money, and the fees count against the spending rules.

The verdict

After ten seasons, or when the owner sacks you, the Independent Commission rules. 15 or more proven charges gets a points deduction. 40 or more strips half the titles you won in seasons you were fiddling the books. 80 or more relegates you and strips all of them. 115 or more gets you expelled. Titles won in clean seasons are safe, so timing matters.

Your legacy score is the trophies you keep: 10 for a league title, 12 for a European Cup, 3 for the FA Cup, 2 for the League Cup. Keep a league title or a European Cup to keep your streak.

Daily and practice

One scored run a day. Everyone gets the same deals, events and luck, so you can compare charge sheets with your mates. Practice runs after that are unlimited.

Is this about a real club?

No. Charge Sheet is a parody inspired by the Premier League's 115 charges case and football's wider rows about owner money and spending rules. Every club, owner, sponsor and pundit in the game is made up.